Through the Streets of Italy: Embracing Travel and Self-Love In The Midst of Microaggressions.

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on my month-long trip around Europe with my boyfriend (now husband), and I can’t help but think about how amazing the experience was. I’ll never forget traipsing around with him, sipping Aperol Spritz, enjoying my weight in Carbonara, and inhaling gelato like there was no tomorrow. But while the memories are fantastic, I’ve been asked by quite a few Black women and women of color about my experience—not the food or the sights—but how I was treated. They wanted to know about racism, the microaggressions, and if it impacted my trip. The short answer is yes, but also no. As a Black woman living in the U.S., I’ve seen and experienced my fair share of racism, microaggressions, hate, and ignorance. So, when people ask if I’m worried about traveling to certain places because of racism, I always remind them of what we face here, in our own country, and the struggles our ancestors endured. I’ve reached a point where I don’t let people’s hate stop me from enjoying what the world offers. Anything can happen here just as much as it can happen elsewhere.

That being said, I had a fantastic time in Italy. My now husband and I took the scenic train route from Switzerland into Italy, passing through multiple UNESCO World Heritage sites and breathtaking views. The train had panoramic windows so we could see the mountains in full 360 degrees. We met other couples, had drinks, and shared food, It was a fun journey, but very long. Had we taken the traditional route, we would’ve been in Italy in three hours. But this scenic route took six hours and was delayed when we hit a car trying to cross the tracks (oops).

Even though the experience was incredible, the rest of the day didn’t go as planned. Our next train was delayed, and when we finally boarded, it broke down several times on the way to Milan, turning our 7-hour travel day into 10–11 hours. By the end of it, I was exhausted.

Despite the rough start, I was determined to make the most of this trip. However, the stares were hard to ignore. At first, I chalked it up to being exhausted and overthinking, or even being a plus-size woman and having long braids, but as we visited more cities, it became clear that people weren’t just looking at me; they were staring directly into my soul. It reached the point where I’d repeatedly ask my husband if I had something on my face. I even found myself checking my phone camera to see if something was off. In hindsight, I wish I had recorded all the times it happened because it was constant. It got so bad that I started staring back at people, and if they didn’t look away, I’d give them the dirtiest look.

Now, I understand that people stare sometimes, and as someone that has traveled around parts of Asia I feel like I'm pretty good at being able to spot the difference between someone looking at me because I am a Black woman (and they don't see people like me very often), and looks that are intimidating and questioning what someone like me is even doing in their space. The intensity of their looks conveyed that it was the latter. It became even more uncomfortable when we’d walk down the street, and people would move out of my husband’s way but walk straight into me, either knocking my shoulder or trying to walk right through me. It became clear that there was more to this than just coincidence. There were times when I would go to order something and they would look straight past me and try to take the next persons order, it got to a point where I would just be overly obvious I was with this White man by rubbing his back or just leaning onto him, and then I would just let him start ordering for me. I’d heard stories about Black people’s experiences in Italy, and while I hate to admit it, I know that if I hadn’t been with my partner, who is White, the situation could have been worse, and that’s just the reality. And it’s a shame to say, but I also know that I probably won’t go back to Italy without a group or without my husband.

The woman in the background stared at me from the moment I walked by her until we left the area. Even when I looked right at her, she still kept staring.

The moral of this story is that microaggressions are everywhere, and racism sucks, but I refuse to let it stop me from enjoying my life and exploring the world. Racism isn’t going away anytime soon, and I’m not going to let it hold me back. That being said, when traveling, it’s important to do your research and stay aware of your surroundings. Whether you’re traveling solo or with a partner, always trust your instincts, stay alert, and know when to step back if something feels off. But also, enjoy your life! Don't let others' ignorance ruin your experience because the world is out there to be explored, and while racism exists, it’s up to us to continue living our truth and taking in all the beauty the world has to offer.

Tips To Help You Stay Aware While Traveling:

1. Trust Your Instincts: If something doesn’t feel right, remove yourself from the situation. Always trust your gut.

2. Stay Alert: Pay attention to your surroundings, especially when you’re in unfamiliar areas. Stay aware of who’s around you and what’s going on.

3. Travel with Confidence: Even if you’re traveling solo, walk with confidence. People will respect your energy more if you hold your head high and exude self-assurance.

4. Research Before You Go: Get familiar with the area and learn about the local culture, especially when it comes to diversity and inclusivity. Knowing what to expect can help you feel more prepared.

5. Make Connections: Whether it’s through social media or local groups, try to connect with others who share your experiences. Having a support system can make all the difference.

Above all, keep living boldly and unapologetically. Don’t let anyone steal your joy.

Have you ever experienced moments in travel like I did above? If so, drop a comment and tell me about it below.