Day One of fUnemployment: Anxiety, Manifestations, and Maybe Some M&M’s

So, uh… surprise! I’m unemployed.

Yep. That’s how we’re starting this post. Today is my first official day of what I’m calling “fUnemployment” — emphasis on the fun because if I don’t laugh about this I will most certainly cry… and probably panic eat my weight in m&m’s in bed.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been a Nanny and House Manager for what's felt like my whole life, and my most recent position? Four years of organizing chaos, running calendars like a Swiss watch, making sure the kiddo turned in their homework, the adults didn’t forget dentist appointments, and that the dog didn’t eat the couch. I loved it. And I was damn good at it.

And now… I’m not doing it anymore.

The job ended suddenly. Like surprise-you-no-longer-work-here suddenly. Not fired, but def no prep. No cute little countdown to my next chapter. Just an abrupt, anxiety-fueled full stop.

And I can say that I feel like I took it well because I realized that I did my job so well that they didn’t need me anymore, and then I went about my day. But it truly didn’t sink in…until it did. I woke up this morning at 5 a.m., stared at the ceiling, and thought, "What now?" Cue the mental spiral.

Yes, I have a wonderful husband with a good job (shout out to my rock), but we’re also in the middle of a home renovation, running a business I have been neglecting, raising a medically complex toddler who spent 9 months in the Big House (NICU), and paying off what feels like 47 million hospital bills. So naturally, my brain’s first response was: panic and freeze. Because why not.

But here’s the wild part: the fear I’m feeling, it’s not just about money... even though I will absolutely miss the money.

It’s more about the unknown. It’s about wondering, am I good enough to land another amazing job? What if I’m not needed anywhere anymore? And most of all, it’s about that deeply rooted childhood fear of instability, the one that whispers, “You’re not safe unless everything is perfectly planned.”

But life? Life doesn’t care about perfect planning the way my brain does.

And the deeper I breathe, the more I realize that I’ve been asking the universe for change for the last year. For clarity. For a sign. For a chance to go all-in on my dreams. I’ve been flirting with the idea of focusing on my business and content full-time, and now, well... the universe just hard-launched me into it., whether I was ready for it or not. Because the truth is that sometimes when we are teetering on the edge, and are a little too scared that we don’t leap, the universe will push us in and not give us any time to react.

I manifested so many things in my life, my amazing husband, my beautiful baby boy, our home, and the passions I get to pour myself into every day. Why wouldn’t I believe that this is just another step in that manifestation journey? That this is the moment I stop holding back and start showing up for the life I’ve been dreaming about?

So yes, I’m unemployed. But also I’m free.

Free to breathe.

Free to create.

Free to build more of my dreams.

Free to ugly cry and laugh all in the same hour.

Today is Day 1. Not of joblessness. But of fearlessly chasing what sets my soul on fire. And maybe, just maybe… I’ll still buy those M&M’s